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The 12 Stages of Goodreads Review Author Meltdown

1) You look at the review in disbelief.


2) You’re shocked … horrified that someone could write something so cruel about your epic tome that took you two years to write.



3) You think about replying but think better of it. (Good for you!)

4) Then you wake up at two in the morning full or righteous indignation. They can’t say that about YOUR epic tome. Fuck them! You fire off a tersely worded reply to the review both on Goodreads and your blog.

5) You’re all “Fuck you … you blogger piece of shit. At least I’m published. You just have a blog!”

6) The blogosphere notices your little missive. It is not amused.

7) Book bloggers pounce on your momentary lapse of reason.

8) And you’re like ….

9) And then you’re like …

10) And then you’re like ….

11) Your agent has a new plan for your career. (Remember how hard it was to find an agent? Focus on that for a while because you no longer have an agent.)

12) And you finally realize that when you’re an author, it’s not about you … it’s about your readers. Bloggers are readers. You’re going to get good reviews and bad reviews because that’s the nature of the business. You swear never again to meltdown over a bad review and pray to God that you haven’t destroyed your career.

Published inBlog


  1. […] and publishing in general hit critical mass. (Sort of different but not entirely different than my 12 Stages of Good Reads Author Meltdown that I posted about a few weeks ago.)  I feel like writing one because, well, is it just me or […]

  2. […] But it’s still a sticky subject because there’s the matter of reviews – the bulk of which I suspect might well come from that 55%. Many authors say they don’t read reviews for their books. Hmmmm … maybe. I doubt it because I see links to them being posted all over Twitter and Facebook by authors who are promoting their work. Also, don’t forget that 2012 was the year of the Goodreads author meltdown. Here’s my post about the 12 Stages of Goodreads Author Meltdown. Look at the pretty pictures! […]

  3. […] One commenter linked an article by Publishers Weekly discussing whether authors and agents should weigh in on citizen reviews while another linked the 12 stages of an author meltdown […]

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