International Please Don’t Pirate My Book Day

One of my fave authors, Chuck Wendig has a fantastic post over at his site Terrible Minds. He’s wanting to make February 6th “International Please Don’t Pirate My Book Day” and is encouraging all authors to share their thoughts on the subject. So here’s mine.

Thank you book pirates.

No, seriously. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for stealing my book.

Thank you for taking something I slaved over, lost sleep over, fretted over, cursed at, pulled my hair out over and threw out to the universe for approval or disapproval.

Thank you for keeping me working a day job because every cent I earn from my book that you just pirated could have helped pay my bills so that I might one day write books full time.

Thank you for being so awesome as to just LOVE LOVE LOVE my book SOOOOOOOO MUCH …. that you had to steal it. (That’s love baby. Nothing says love like stealing something you want more than anything.)

Thank you for keeping the economy mired in the muck when your ten dollar donation had you bought my book might contribute to the wages of the people who helped produce it.

Thank you so much for justifying your thievery by stating that my book isn’t a book at all, but content. (Because you know that book stealing is bad but downloading content is socially acceptable  You are so awesome book pirates – your ability to reason through your actions is a sight to behold.)

Thank you for not supporting your local library where you could get the book for free with a cover and everything. I know, it sucks to get up off your  ass long enough to wander down to the library and borrow it. But then you’d have to return it which would necessitate another painful trip down to the library when you could be resting your butt cheeks in your ass groove on your couch, surfing the latest ebook piracy websites.

Thank you for diminishing the worth of my efforts. It means so much.

Thank you for not supporting your local book store which is probably closing or in the process of going broke.

Thank you for taking a principled stand on why everything that appears online should be free. I’ll remember that when I break into your house and take your 52 inch flat screen that you saved up for a year to purchase. I’m going to take it because you don’t really need it – you’re too busy on your laptop looking for my fellow authors books to download for free. Your principles are so important to me that I just had to break into your house to take your TV – I want to go online and download content, too. I just want to do it on a bigger monitor.

Okay, that’s enough thank you stuff for now. You all get my point. Look – it’s stealing. Period. My books are works that I sweated over – that I produced by getting up at three in the morning to write before I went to my day job. If you illegally download my book then I hope you get a weird disease that causes your #$!$ to fall off.

That is all.

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